What is Trauma?
Trauma is an event that overwhelms the central nervous system, altering the way we process and recall memories. — Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Trauma is everywhere, and with everything going on in the world today, we cannot ignore its presence. No one is immune to the impact of trauma.
What's important about this definition of trauma is that it opens the door to so many experiences, big and small. The existence of trauma is less about the content of the experience and more about the process of the nervous system. In other words, if the nervous system is overwhelmed, then it is trauma.
"Big T" vs. "Little t" Trauma
Big T Trauma
Major, life-threatening events such as combat, natural disasters, serious accidents, or violent assault. These are typically what people think of when they hear "trauma."
Little t Trauma
Smaller but impactful experiences that still overwhelm the nervous system: emotional neglect, bullying, verbal abuse, divorce, job loss, or chronic stress. These can often be the most pervasive and deeply emotional.
Emotional trauma can be caused by any event or experience that disrupts our sense of safety and security, often leaving us feeling helpless.
Causes of Emotional Trauma
Understanding the range of experiences that can cause trauma helps us recognize it in ourselves and others. Here are the top causes of emotional trauma:
Verbal or Emotional Abuse
You know that saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me"? That's simply not true. Words can cause significant emotional pain. Many people carry deep shame surrounding verbal or emotional abuse because there is no "evidence" of the damage, no physical wound. This causes people to minimize their feelings. Examples include a parent telling a child they'll never be good enough, a boss bullying an employee, a partner yelling and name-calling, or experiencing racism.
Physical or Sexual Abuse
The CDC reports that about 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys in the U.S. experience sexual abuse, and those numbers only reflect what is reported. 91% of child sexual abuse comes from someone the child knows and trusts, a profound violation of safety and security. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence.
Childhood Neglect
As infants, we are hardwired to attach and need to attach to our caregivers for survival. When your caregiver is both your source of comfort and your source of pain, the overwhelm is too much to handle. Dissociation becomes the brain's greatest survival tool. Neglect can be unmet physical needs (not providing enough food or hygiene) or unmet emotional needs (not soothing or comforting a distressed child).
Spiritual or Religious Abuse
Humans have a natural need to belong, so it can be devastating when a spiritual or religious community makes you feel shame, guilt, or condemned. Spiritual or religious trauma is particularly prevalent among those in the LGBTQ+ community who have been ostracized or dehumanized for their sexual identity.
Accident or Natural Disaster
Car accidents, unexpected injuries, fires, earthquakes, floods, or tornadoes. Any unexpected event that left you feeling helpless can be traumatic.
Witnessing Violence or Death
Witnessing a traumatic event can be just as emotionally damaging as experiencing it yourself. This includes witnessing fighting among caregivers, shootings, community violence, or bodily harm. First responders are frequently exposed to emotional trauma. SAMHSA reports that approximately 1 in 3 first responders will develop PTSD.
Content adapted from "What are the Top Causes of Emotional Trauma?" by Sarah Martin, LCPC, NCC
How Trauma Changes the Brain
The word "trauma" is becoming more familiar to the general population. Many people recognize the psychological impact of being in physical danger or witnessing someone in danger. But trauma goes deeper than psychology. It actually changes the structure and function of the brain.
Traumatic experiences activate brain mechanisms to ensure our safety. Depending on the conditions surrounding the event, things eventually return to normal. However, if trauma continues, the brain can sustain long-term changes.
The Brain's Response to Threat
Hypothalamus receives sensory information about our experiences
Amygdala evaluates whether the event is a threat
If threat is detected, adrenaline pumps through the body
Prefrontal cortex (problem-solving) turns off to preserve energy
Hippocampus shifts to producing cortisol (pain-reducing chemical)
Long-Term Brain Changes from Chronic Trauma
| Brain Change | Clinical Impact |
|---|---|
| Enlarged Amygdala | Danger signals become more frequent and intense. Thoughts like "he is angry" or "they all hate me" flood through the brain quickly. |
| Hypoactive Frontal Lobe | Difficulty integrating adaptive information, possibly contributing to guilt and self-blame for the trauma. |
| Damaged Hippocampus | Prevents encoding of cognitive and autobiographical memory. Can dissociate memories from the prefrontal cortex, preventing understanding and processing. |
| Disconnected Affective Circuits | A person may present as unimpacted by fearful events because the circuits needed for a complete danger response are no longer connected. |
Content adapted from "Three Ways Emotional Trauma Changes the Brain" by Katie Honeywell, LPCMH, NCC
Trauma and the Nervous System
Understanding polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, helps us understand how trauma shows up in our daily lives and personality traits.
Sympathetic System
Fight or Flight
Activates hyperarousal states. When we perceive threat, this system mobilizes energy for action, either to fight the danger or flee from it.
Dorsal Vagal System
Freeze / Shutdown
Shuts the body down into a hypoarousal freeze response when it realizes there are few options for survival. Attempts to conserve energy.
Ventral Vagal System
Social Engagement
A mixture of activation and calming. Where people feel safe, connected, and ready to experience the world. We experience feelings here, but only what we can tolerate.
We can look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for guidance on threats of danger. If a teenager perceives their social status to be in danger, this may lead to a feeling of not belonging. From an evolutionary perspective, the sense of belonging to a group means survival. If we are told by a parent that we are stupid and worthless, our love and belonging needs are not being met.
Five Signs of Untreated Trauma in Adults
Do you have personality traits that you or others in your life feel strongly about? Most of us do. Chances are these traits have been with you for a long time. They can be signs of untreated trauma.
One way to spot childhood trauma in adults is where these traits fall in our nervous system and how they show up day to day. These behaviors developed as survival strategies and helped us, as children, feel safe in a scary world.
People Pleasing (Fawning)
Frequent thoughts like "I don't want to be a burden" or "don't make them angry." You may struggle with naming your needs, over-apologize, or be hypervigilant about disapproval or anger. If too much of a burden, you fear being unwanted or in danger.
Nervous System: Fleeing from personal needs to be accepted or avoid abuse
Defensive Humor
Making sarcastic jokes too often, too soon, or at inappropriate times. Some people start using humor to distract from uncomfortable situations like academic pressure, peer acceptance, emotional release, or to entertain a parent experiencing tough emotions. Humor is powerfully reinforced through social acceptance and dopamine.
Nervous System: Staying in the safe social engagement zone
Secret Keeping
If a family can avoid talking about abuse, socially unacceptable activity, or alcoholism, we also avoid shame, guilt, and anxiety. People learn it is safer to keep a secret than losing family or having conflict. If secret keeping is impulsive, frequent, or used to avoid healthy conflict, this is likely a consequence of untreated trauma.
Nervous System: Flight zone activity, avoiding danger
Yelling and Frequent Irritability
This hyperarousal defensive state is often learned through behaviors seen in others, lack of co-regulation in a caregiver, or accidentally discovered but reinforced through avoiding unwanted feelings or danger. This can be true for people with complex trauma, later onset trauma, or single event trauma.
Nervous System: Fight zone
Smartphone Scrolling to Dissociate
Using mindless scrolling and numbing to avoid intense feelings or feel good. Dopamine, emotional avoidance, and easy access reinforce this behavior. This combination falls into the dorsal vagal shutdown zone.
Nervous System: Dorsal vagal shutdown zone
Why These Traits Persist
When behaviors are reinforced by avoidance of perceived pain, death, fear, or social isolation, they are more likely to grow into lifelong personality traits. These traits have memory networks, triggers, images, and thoughts associated with them. They produce endorphins and relief, sealing them into our procedural memory.
Content adapted from "Five Signs of Untreated Childhood Trauma" by Katie Honeywell, LPCMH, NCC
Why Talk Therapy Alone Isn't Enough for Trauma
"The bottom line is talk therapy does not work to treat trauma. Trauma is stored in a different area of the brain. It's also a body process, so it's critical to utilize a type of therapy that involves the body in processing the trauma."
— Rachel Harrison, LCPC, EMDRIA Approved Trainer and Consultant
There is a difference between being trauma-informed and treating trauma. Anyone can be trauma-informed in their approach, offering choices and respecting client autonomy. Treating trauma means we can effectively help a client no longer experience distress when thinking about a traumatic memory.
Talk Therapy Limitations
- Accesses cognitive brain, not where trauma is stored
- Doesn't involve the body in processing
- Can help understand trauma without resolving it
What Effective Treatment Looks Like
- Accesses the limbic brain where trauma is stored
- Involves the body in processing
- Produces lasting desensitization of traumatic memories
That means no longer being triggered, having nightmares, or feeling like fighting, fleeing, or freezing. Evidence-based treatments like EMDR therapy have been shown to produce activity in frontal lobe activation, addressing the parts of the brain directly impacted by trauma.
The Path to Healing
If you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you care about, there is hope. Emotional trauma often has roots that occurred much earlier in life, but with the right approach, healing is possible.
For Those Seeking Healing
- Find a therapist trained in evidence-based trauma treatment (like EMDR)
- You can search for EMDRIA-trained therapists at emdria.org
- Be patient. Healing takes time, but lasting change is possible
For Therapists
Emotional trauma can result from so many events, and as a therapist, it can be overwhelming to figure out where to begin to help your clients heal. If you want to be a therapist who goes beyond supporting clients who have experienced trauma, consider getting trained in an evidence-based approach.
EMDR is one of the most effective treatment modalities for trauma. It has helped countless therapists lead their patients toward healing.
Learn About EMDR TrainingFrequently Asked Questions
What's the difference between stress and trauma?
Stress is a normal response to challenging situations and typically resolves when the stressor is removed. Trauma occurs when an event overwhelms the nervous system to the point that it alters how we process and recall memories. The key difference is that trauma gets "stuck" in the nervous system and continues to affect us long after the event.
Can trauma be healed completely?
Yes. With effective treatment, people can reach a point where thinking about a past traumatic event no longer causes distress. The memory remains, but the emotional charge is significantly reduced or eliminated. People report no longer being triggered, having nightmares, or experiencing fight/flight/freeze responses related to the trauma. EMDR therapy is one evidence-based modality for this work. Research shows it reduces and often eliminates trauma symptoms.
Does everyone who experiences a traumatic event develop a trauma response or PTSD?
No. Whether an event becomes trauma depends on how the nervous system processes it. There is nothing bad or wrong about either response. Factors like age at the time of the event, support systems, previous trauma history, and individual nervous system resilience all shape how a nervous system responds. Two people can experience the same event with very different outcomes, and neither one is doing it wrong.
What is complex trauma vs. single-event trauma?
Single-event trauma results from one specific incident (car accident, assault, natural disaster). Complex trauma (C-PTSD) develops from repeated, prolonged exposure to traumatic situations, often during childhood, like ongoing abuse, neglect, or living with domestic violence. Complex trauma typically requires longer treatment but can still be effectively healed. With EMDR therapy, treatment of C-PTSD does not need to take a lifetime. Many clients see meaningful progress within a focused course of treatment.
How do I know if I need trauma-specific treatment?
If past events continue to affect your daily life through triggers, nightmares, avoidance behaviors, hypervigilance, or emotional reactions that feel disproportionate to current situations, you may benefit from trauma-specific treatment. A qualified trauma therapist can help assess whether specialized treatment like EMDR would be appropriate.
Keep Exploring
Our other guides cover EMDR therapy, attachment wounds, and the path to healing in more depth.